Rostad Law, LLC

HELP! I think I am getting divorced and I don’t even know where to start!

Sat, 15 Sep 2018 02:22:00 GMT

The short answer is that you need to call a lawyer. And, don’t put it off. There may be deadlines so if you do not respond on time, you may lose your chance.

If you call my offices, we’ll schedule an appointment for you to confidentially discuss your case. We’ll give you time to explain your situation. We’ll explain your options and offer our advice on how best to proceed. Usually, this meeting takes about an hour.

If you don’t think we will be compatible, you are free to consult with someone else. You are under no obligation to proceed. Even if you don’t hire our offices, hire someone.

If we agree that we are a good ‘fit” for each other, you will sign a formal agreement hiring our offices as your attorney. At that point take a breath. We will do our very best to walk through this process with you and explain it to you as we go.

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The Opposite of Love Isn’t Hate

Sat, 01 Sep 2018 01:54:00 GMT

Many years ago, a mentor in family law told me that in divorce the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.

What did she mean by that?? I think she meant that in your post-divorce life, you don’t have to be ruled by emotion every time your ex-spouse does something that might otherwise send you careening over the edge, like when he or she:

…shows up late for visitation;

…misses a child support payment;

…doesn’t facilitate your phone visitation on time, as scheduled;

…sends you a nasty text message; or

…refuses to respect your way of parenting.

Did she really mean that the ultimate goal post divorce -the real measure that you’ve moved on from your broken relationship -is when you become totally indifferent to your ex-spouse’s antics? I don’t think so. I think what she meant is that the goal post-divorce is to be able to step back and choose to respond to situations rather than to react.

Now, when I think of the word “indifference,” I associate it with little effort, but I don’t think my mentor meant that, either because to get to a place post-divorce where you aren’t ruled by hate, anger, and resentment takes a lot of effort.

Is it really that big of a deal that you be able to respond matter-of-factly to your ex-spouse rather than to react?

Yes. Absolutely, yes, because your kids are affected by your reactions and your responses. If you hate your ex-spouse, they know it. If you have neutralized feelings about your ex-spouse, they feel that, too.

And, the bottom line, plain and simple, is that it’s just not fair for you to put your negative feelings on your kids. After all, your feelings about your ex-spouse aren’t their feelings and your relationship with their other parent isn’t their relationship. And, that is more productive than hate will ever be.

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Great Parenting After the Divorce – Read on to learn how!

Mon, 20 Aug 2018 18:00:00 GMT

Parenting is hard but great parenting on the heels of a stressful divorce probably feels completely unattainable.

Why is that? Because divorce was an emotional roller coaster for you. You’re completely wiped out and you feel like you have nothing left to give.

Chances are that your kids also felt like the divorce was an emotional roller coaster and, they, too, are wiped out.

Just about every emotion imaginable can be displayed by kids-

Sadness- the home environment they were used to is gone;

Relief- hoping that the stress, arguing, and even fighting might be over;

Confusion- especially for younger children who don’t fully understand what is going on;

Anger- directed at you, your ex-spouse, or both of you for causing or allowing this to happen;

Abandonment- wondering why Mom or Dad left them;

Guilt- feeling that they were somehow responsible for the break-up of the family; and/or

Anxiety- over what will happen next.

If you’re recently divorced and know your kids are feeling some-or even all – of the above feelings, now is your opportunity to re-establish stability for them. Great parenting in your post-divorce life can and will look different for every family but start with some small steps, figure out what you and the children need and start moving forward.

Hopefully, there is enough civility between you and your ex-spouse that you can agree to put your personal feelings towards each other aside when it comes to doing what is best for the children. Can you agree not to bad-mouth each other when you are with the children? Can you agree not to argue in front of them or on the phone when they might hear? Can you agree to cooperate with each other when it comes to visitations, child activities, and so on?

Even if you have a mean or unreliable ex-spouse, rise above it.

There is no single path to great parenting in your post-divorce world. There is no set formula. We just offer some suggestions for your consideration. Hopefully, you will find some ideas here that will help you.

The end of a divorce is a new beginning- for yourself and your kids. Take full advantage of it and best wishes as you strive to move forward – for you and the kids!

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How Much Will My Divorce Cost?

Sun, 19 Aug 2018 02:48:00 GMT

Getting divorced is the second most stressful life event a person can experience, and it’s second only to a parent experiencing the death of their child. Divorce is stressful for many reasons one of which is the financial impact it has on everyone.

A common question that people ask us – sometimes before they even schedule their initial consultation- is, “How much will this divorce cost?”

Attorneys are not allowed to “advertise” their fees so it would be improper to outline that information here.

At your initial consultation, though, we will discuss the financial aspects of your case and our fees so you can decide how you want to proceed.

When you engage the services of an attorney, there are two ways in which fees are handled- hourly fee or contingency.

Generally, we charge an hourly fee in family law cases. You will pay an up-front fee called a “retainer.” A “retainer” is a lump sum amount of money you deposit with the law firm out of which we will pay the costs, expenses and attorneys’ fees associated with your case.

In any case, the initial retainer is not meant to be an estimate of total legal fees for your case. It’s also not a flat fee.

Each month, you will receive a statement showing how much is in your account, what fees, costs and expenses are being deducted from it, and how much remains. As the account nears depletion, you will be asked to pay an additional amount to replenish the account.

When your legal case is completed, any funds remaining in your account will be returned to you.

If you have questions about the financial impact of your divorce on you, do not hesitate to call us at Rostad Law, LLC.

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Tips for Sending Your Kid Back to School, Post-Divorce

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 03:42:00 GMT

Back to school is right around the corner. If you’re recently divorced, or not so recently divorced, here’s some tips to ace sending your kid back to school:

Use an App.

Agree with your ex-spouse to use an app to communicate important school activities with each other. Apps are great – especially if you’re still having a hard time talking to your ex-spouse without ending up in a huge fight. An app is a simple and productive way to communicate important details about your kid’s schooling without getting bogged down in the emotional mire of a fresh divorce. We like Our Family Wizard and Cozi but there are lots of apps out there that may suit your family. Just pick an app that lets you freely add and edit information and share it with other family members. Also, it’s handy to have an app that sends you reminders of the upcoming scheduled activities and notifies you of any changes that have been made to the schedule.

Update Your Kid’s School Records.

Review your kid’s emergency contact information on file with the school. Make sure the school knows how to get a hold of both you and your ex-spouse (assuming you both have rights to contact). And, while you’re at it, now is the time to make sure the school knows about any new individuals who may be picking your kid up or dropping him/her off at the school. If your kid is now a part of a blended family, make sure the school knows that, too.

Be Nice.

We all remember having first day jitters as we walked up to school. Consider going together with your ex-spouse to drop your kid off on the first day. Remember, your kid’s first day of school isn’t about you, or your ex-spouse, or your divorce. Your kid’s first day of school is about…YOUR KID’S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! Period. So, make it special and make it memorable for your kid.

Get to Know the School Counselor.

You may want to introduce yourself to the school counselor and let him or her know the status of your family’s recent divorce. The school counselor may be able to keep an extra tab on how your kid is doing back at school, post divorce. And, the counselor may have some ideas and extra resources available to help your kid adjust as needed.

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Know Your Lawyer

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 02:42:00 GMT

Some clients ask us whether we represent men or women in divorces, primarily. It’s a fair question and one that you may want to ask any lawyer you consider hiring. Our practice is truly about 50-50 in that we represent men in divorces about as often as we represent women. In the case of same-sex marriages, we will represent either man or either woman. Also, we do a lot of guardian ad litem work. A guardian ad litem, or GAL, is a lawyer who advocates for the best interests of the children. Sometimes, in a high-conflict divorce or custody situation, the Court will appoint a GAL to ensure the child’s best interests are considered in the areas of education, medical needs, counseling and others.

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All I want is a Simple Divorce. Do I Really Need an Attorney?

Sun, 15 Jul 2018 02:52:00 GMT

It is possible to get a divorce without an attorney. If your divorce is mutually agreeable, civil, and fairly simple, you can do it without an attorney.

Start by having a frank discussion with your spouse about how you both see this divorce proceeding. If you can agree on all the terms of the divorce, this may be a good option for you.

With the Internet so readily available to most of us, you may be tempted to “google” your next steps. Be cautious, you live in Wyoming and laws applicable to other states may not
apply here. So, make sure the site you are looking at complies with Wyoming law. A good place to start may be the Wyoming Supreme Court’s website.

If any of the following apply to you or your situation, we encourage you to consult with a lawyer:

It has been our experience that partners sometimes embark on a “simple” divorce without legal counsel, but somewhere during the process, animosity surfaces, one partner disagrees on some aspect of the divorce, or unanticipated issues arise. If at any time, your “simple” divorce becomes complicated, give us a call.

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Hire a Lawyer You Think You Can Work With

Wed, 04 Jul 2018 08:00:00 GMT

Getting a divorce can be stressful, really stressful. The lawyer you hire should, at the very least, not compound your stress. Keep this in mind when you first meet with a lawyer. That first meeting is a chance for you to evaluate the lawyer and figure out if it’s a person you think you could work with. So, ask questions. Interview him. What does he or she stand for? What is her philosophy on marriage, divorce, and coparenting?

I am a product of divorce. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. That experience was a factor in my decision to become a lawyer and practice family law. I know first-hand how traumatic a divorce can be— not just for the separating couple but for their children and other family members. Divorce is a lot more than just a legal process.

It is emotional. It is the dissolution of a relationship that once was founded on love, admiration, and bright hopes for the future.

It is financial. Each partner must consider their future on their own. For some this can be paying bills and balancing their own check book for the first time. It might mean a lot less income and financial security. It might mean taking on household chores, household maintenance, or other responsibilities previously done by their spouse.

It is far-reaching. Young children must adjust to mommy or daddy not being at home anymore. It may involve a new home, new school, or even a new town. Grandparents want to continue to see their grandchildren without getting involved in the drama and emotions. Friends may want to retain their friendships with either or both partners, but those relationships are forever changed and can become strained.

That is why we encourage a collaborative approach to divorce. We want to help you consider all aspects of a divorce, not just the legal one. We encourage you to allow us to bring in a counselor, therapist, accountant, or other financial advisor as deemed necessary, always with your approval, to help make this transition in your life as easy as possible— for you and everyone else involved.

This might even include using a mediator rather than a court to facilitate the divorce. The least amount of conflict, drama, and trauma involved, the better.

Many times, you will hear attorneys say that they will “fight” for their clients. That is not language we will ever use. We think that divorce carries enough potential for fighting without the lawyers promising it. Our goal is to bring about a divorce and settlement of differences with as little conflict as possible. But make no mistake, we are strong advocates for our clients. No one will take advantage of you while we represent you!

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